Eggs...They're NOT What's for Breakfast

While I trolled the Internet looking for vegetarian recipes and pointers on preparing meals without meat, I happened upon a video that chronicled the operations of a chicken hatchery.  It really messed me up.  I haven't been able to eat eggs or products made from eggs for a couple of weeks now. Damn activists.

Male Chicks -- Ground Alive

Brown Rice...Tastes Like Popcorn

I cooked brown rice for the first time today. I forgot to take a picture and it's too late now...because it was so good it's history! I've eaten it at restaurants before and thought it was kind of tough and flavorless.  I knew I could do a better job at home. And I did. I *probably* used more salt than is healthful, but my rice was good! It tasted vaguely of popcorn...like Basmati rice. It was great under my veggie stirfry (I swear by Whole Foods' frozen Chinese Stir Fry vegetables).

The trick to good brown rice is to rinse it, boil it (5 parts water to 1 part rice) for 30 minutes, drain off the water, then let the rice steam for 10 minutes. I covered the pot with aluminum foil, then put the lid on so that no steam could escape.

I could get used to this.  So, I am 14 days meat-free, egg-free, sugar-free, and caffeine-free.  I have had a a few cocktails (I am still me) but I have cut waaaaaayyyyy back. And I am four pounds lighter!

Adventures with Seitan

One full week...no meat/caffeine/bread/refined sugar. (Small confession: I had 1 1/2 shots of vodka with juice last night and actually FELT the effects...)

While I was trolling the Internet, I got the idea to make some BBQ "Pork" using seitan, a wheat protein that has a consistency similar to meat.  I've had seitan before, many years ago, from a vegan restaurant in New York.  I wasn't too crazy about it at the time.

I purchased a box of seitan strips by West Soy. Eight ounces of this stuff cost $3.99. At $7.98 per pound, this clearly will not become a staple in my diet.

When it first comes out of its vacuum sealed package, it looks less than appetizing (sort of like brains) and smells vaguely of wet bread.

It starts to look better after I pull it apart and chop it into pieces.

Meanwhile, I diced 1/2 onion and sauteed it with a couple cloves of garlic. While that was in the pan, I prepared my sauce (okay, so I just doctored some bottled Open Pit sauce by adding cayenne and mustard. I would have ordinarily used a ton of brown sugar, too, but...well...no sugar.) Then I put the seitan in the pan, poured the sauce over it, and let it all simmer for about 15 minutes.  And, voila!

I am not going to sit here and type that this tasted like BBQ pork shoulder, because lightening would strike me dead. However, it was good. If I were a real meat-lover before now, this would probably help me through the initial meat-free period, but I think I would rather have no meat than fake meat. Maybe I'll bring it to summer BBQs so I'll "fit in" with the people eating meat, but I don't think I'll buy this again for a regular meal.

Now...off to continue my quest for soy vodka!

Smoothies!

I see myself becoming as enamored with my blender as I am with my slow cooker.  I am on a total smoothie kick.  I had one for lunch yesterday, but didn't post a picture because it was sorta ugly.  Vanilla soy protein powder, soy milk, frozen mangoes, and strawberries do not a pretty picture make.  Ugly beige color notwithstanding, it was quite tasty.

Today's breakfast smoothie was a little more visually appealing, so I took a pic.  It was quite simple: orange/mango/peach juice, one banana, four strawberries, and a few cubes of ice.  I purchased a bag of spinach thinking I'd slip in a handful but, upon arriving home from the store, I realized that my spinach was slimy and smelled funny.  Oh, well...next time.

Banana Strawberry Smoothie

Two Wines...Sort Of

Seriously, though...I just wouldn't be me if I didn't imbibe every once in a while. So, I shall return periodically (maybe weekly) with cocktail recipes.

In the meantime, I am going to post about two wines that I've tried over the past couple weeks. I am not even certain that I would classify one of the two as "wine", but more about that in a minute.

Beso de Vino Macabeo

After a long day at work, I decided to stop at Whole Foods to purchase the fixings for one of my favorite meals: French bread, Brie, smoked salmon, and wine. I decided to try Beso de Vino Macabeo, since I was looking for a white I had never tried before.

This wine, as I explained to a friend, tastes like someone served themselves a glass of Chardonnay on the rocks (sacrilege), set it in the sun, forgot about it, let the ice melt, found it, re-chilled it, and consumed it. It was a waste of $11 and a waste of grapes. Needless to say, I shan't purchase it again.

Olde Savannah Sweet Tea

I was passing the time in World Market one day last week and (silly me) thought that I was going to exit without making a purchase. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a display of wines beside a sign that read, "Just in time for summer!". Since it was 80 degrees that day and I had a touch of spring fever and I LOVE wine, I moseyed on over to see what the day-glo sign was all about. The $5.99 price tag should have been ample warning that I had stumbled upon something that I should have just left alone, but I've had decent inexpensive wines before (read: Trader Joe's Two Buck Chuck), so I grabbed a bottle, paid for it, and brought it home.

Since I'm an Internet addict, I Googled the wine and discovered it's relatively new and World Market is one of the only purveyors. The online reviews were decidedly consistent...they all concluded that the wine is utter garbage. Some folks said it was too strong, some folks said the bouquet was overpowering but, since I'm not a fan of wimpy wines, I thought they were just being punks and didn't have the heart to stand up to a full-bodied wine. So, I waited a couple days, chilled the wine, and decided to sample it.  The reviews were pretty accurate...the wine tastes like perfume, bourbon, and sugar. Now, I have never HAD that combination but I am fairly certain that, if I had, it would have tasted like Olde Savannah Sweet Tea. Save your $6.00 and get two bottles of Two Buck Chuck (because it's now three dollars).

Curried Zucchini and Candied Maple Sweet Potatoes

Well...day five of this crazy alcohol/caffeine/meat/flour/sugar-free experience.  I have rediscovered the beauty of smoothies, soy protein, and vegetarian cooking from my years in Boston and Philadelphia. I'm once again enjoying clearer skin, higher energy, and overall better mood. Why did I stop eating like this? Oh...yeah...I remember (but that's another story for another time...suffice it to say that I understand why married women tend to get fat and die earlier than single women.)

I just had a wonderful meal of curried zucchini and candied maple sweet potatoes.

Sweet potatoes are one of my favorite foods on earth, so I have very high standards when it comes to their preparation. I must say that substituting maple syrup for white sugar didn't detract from the experience one bit.

Candied Maple Sweet Potatoes
1 large sweet potato, peeled and sliced into rounds
1/2 c Grade A maple syrup (I didn't measure...I eyeballed it)
1 Tbs pure vanilla extract (again...eyeballed)
Nutmeg
Rinse sweet potato rounds under water and layer in the bottom of a pan (do not pat dry...the residual water will help make the glaze)
Pour maple syrup over sweet potato rounds, then add vanilla and nutmeg.
Bring to a simmer over high heat, then reduce heat to low, cover pan, and let simmer until potatoes are tender (about 15 - 20 minutes), adding a little more water, if necessary.
2 - 3 servings

Curried Zucchini
1 zucchini, sliced lengthwise into 1-inch strips
Curry Masala
Salt
Garlic
Black Pepper
Olive Oil
Drizzle zucchini with olive oil, lightly sprinkle with spices and sautee over medium-high heat until zucchini just begins to turn translucent (if you overcook it, it will fall apart).

Lemonade...Bad. Spicy Lentil Tomato Soup...Good.

Well, it's been three days... And I'll be brutally honest. I only fasted for 36 hours, but I have managed to remain free of caffeine, alcohol, sugar (not counting maple syrup), meat, and processed foods.  I feel great!  I think that my body just isn't going to deal with a food-free lifestyle, but it's doing quite well with a plant-based diet.  It still requires a great deal of discipline, which addresses one of the reasons I tried the fast. It's still alcohol-free, which addresses another reason I tried the fast. And I don't spend hours on end preparing salads and soups, which addresses the other reason I tried the fast.  So, I don't feel like a total failure...just like I identified a suitable middle ground.  Seriously, I don't know what type of person could survive ten days on this:

So...tonight's meal: Spicy Lentil Tomato Soup.  I improvised the recipe, so I can't really give precise measures, but here are the essential components:

2 handsful yellow lentils

1/2 diced onion

chopped garlic (sautee the onion and garlic in a bit of vegetable oil before adding the other ingredients)

salt

cayenne pepper

Garam masala

Curry Powder

Simmer in one can of tomato sauce and enough water to cover the lentils by about two inches.

The Last Supper

I cannot believe I visited South Beach, ate wonderful food, drank amazing cocktails...and didn't get a single photograph. That's what happens when you only take your crappy cell phone camera and dine al fresco on the beach.  Anyway, that trip included the best paella ever cooked anywhere on Earth. Saffron rice, squid, shrimp, scallops....mmmm....chased with a margarita served in a glass the size of my head.

That is a glorious memory to have stored in the vaults to get me through the next few days as I do battle with the Master Cleanse. I am doing this fast for several reasons...

1. I have an unhealthy relationship with food. While I am not overweight (though I could stand to drop 10 pounds or so), I think I derive an inordinate amount of joy from cooking and eating. And drinking. Which brings me to number two...

2. My alcohol tolerance is through the roof.  I mean, like, I can knock back drinks like a 20-year-old frat boy and not feel a thing. As a result, I drink A LOT (we won't go into details on exactly how much...suffice it to say that if I open a bottle of red at 6:00 in the evening, I feel compelled to finish it by midnight so that it "won't go bad"). For the sake of my liver, kidneys, and pancreas, I need to get some balance back in my life.  I pine for the days when I was tipsy at the bottom of a glass of wine.

3. Food and cooking take up a large amount of my time. I can spend an entire lunch break surfing the net for recipes and devising my shopping list. Then I can spend an hour in the supermarket and another hour cooking my meal. Yet...I can't find time to work out on a consistent basis because I am so "busy". Really?  So, I am gaining a couple hours a day by doing this...I just need to use them productively.

4. I believe in the power of cleanses, when done responsibly. I've never done a long-term cleanse (I am aiming for 10 days, though I will be really happy if I can make it through five). I have some major decisions that I need to make  in the near future (work, relationship, possibly making a move back to the east coast) that I've been putting off. Fasting, cleansing, and exercising give me a degree of clarity of thought that I desperately need right now.

That said, I will chronicle this experience on my food blog since lemons, water, maple syrup, and water will comprise my "food" over the next few days.

Wish me luck!